Paradise lost

It would seem that however hard I may try, whatever I might do, there can never be a paradise for me. Perhaps there is, and i am cursed to linger but never find it. The universe does seem to tease like that, holding treasured prizes just beyond reach or sight.

I have moved, though not to where I'd planned to go. Indeed, where I'd desired to be can now never be mine. That path is long since lost to me. The paradise I'd found there has barred the gates so that I can never set foot there or lay eye upon it.

I had a vision once, a dream, that I'd seen the family I've long longed for. There I was greeted and embraced, welcomed there not only then but in times to come. A promise was made that it was no mere fantasy, but would come to pass. Through my own misfortune, through a great many of my own faults and errors, that path has closed. The fantasy of it, was believing it could ever be. As the days pass into years I can only become more convinced I will never know that joy.

In the end I can only begin to wonder if, perhaps...